When I first started
speaking for a living I had great difficulty with one-on-one
conversation with members of my audience. I could speak before 2500
people and enjoy every minute of it, but when I was expected to mix and
mingle my tongue became all thumbs. I decided to get to work improving
my conversation skills and researched the topic thoroughly. My efforts
paid off for now I can speak with anyone, anywhere for any length of
time. Let me share with you what I learned.
- There are three fundamental principles upon which
good conversation is based.
- It is better to be interested than interesting
- There is nothing as flattering as the undivided
attention of another human being.
- People long to talk about their favourite topic
which is "themselves." Keep these in mind and you can't fail in becoming
a great conversationalist.
- Assume the responsibility for starting and
maintaining the conversation.
- I usually begin with a friendly " Hi, I'm Mike Moore
and I'm from Canada" Usually the response is " Hello, Mike I am
____________ and I'm from___________. (Away you go.)
- Use the person's name throughout the conversation. It
shows that you're interested in and focussed on the other.
- Let the other be the centre of attention.
- Show a genuine interest in the one you're speaking
with. Maintain eye contact.
- Ask questions that require more than a one word
answer.
- When you ask a question listen attentively to the
answer and be quick to ask another question arising from the response to
the first. You learn what to say by listening carefully to what was
said.
- Put the other at ease by smiling and nodding
frequently throughout the conversation.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Don't feel the need to disagree until you get to know
the person better.
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GREAT CONVERSATION PHRASES
- "That's interesting. Tell me more."
- "Give me an example of what you mean."
- "How would you like to see it turn out?"
- "How did you feel when that happened to you?"
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CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Give a compliment.
- Ask for advice.
- Seek help with something.
- Give praise.
- Seek an opinion.
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I keep six honest servants
They taught me all I know.
Their names are what and why and when
And how and where and who.
R. Kipling